Monday Moanin’
By David Smith
May 15, 2006
Greetings from a random encounter,
About two weeks ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store, making mindless small talk with the person in front of me. I was at the end of a long day, one with very few bright spots, and truthfully I was in a no mood for any conversation. Then I asked a question: “So, what has been the best part of your day today?”
The words got out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. I’m not sure if I really had any interest in the answer, I think I was just trying to push my day out of my mind. The woman I was talking to took it seriously. “Oh, that would be easy. Taking my kids to school. It’s about the only time we are sitting still together.” We commiserate about busy lives for a moment and she paid for her food and said goodbye.
The cashier at the grocery store is thin, frail looking, with circles under her eyes. She is friendly but she is not smiling. We exchange the usual clerk/customer greeting. And then I ask: “What has been the best part of your day today?” “What? I don’t know.” She is looking at me like I am a little crazy. “It has been a rough day. I guess the best part was lying down. My feet are killing me.”
My heart went out to her. I have no grasp of her normal attitude; I’ve never met her before. But for a second the door to her life cracked open and I could sense she was more than just tired. Her answer sounded desperate and despondent. The best part of her day was a chance to lie down. My day suddenly looked pretty good by comparison.
Since then I have asked about thirty people that question, some of them people I know, most of them strangers I met along the way. Some people were a little startled by the question, and brushed it off with some casual remark, but most actually thought about their answer. For some it came out like they had been waiting to be asked.
Here are some the answers I remembered long enough to write down:
“Chocolate cake.”
“I talked to my fiancé in Texas. We are getting married in November, and I really miss him. It was so good to talk to him.”
“My lunch break.”
“Are you kidding me?” laughter through the phone. “I guess getting outside long enough to see the sun.”
“My brother called from Iraq. It’s his birthday today, well actually yesterday, and he called us to tell us he was ok. He gives up his phone time so other guys in his unit, guys with wives and kids, can call home. It was so great, it was the best part of my day.”
“I woke up and everything worked. I thank the Lord for that. I don’t wait for anything else, I just go with it.”
A week later I get the same cashier at the grocery store. She recognizes me. “Hey….” She doesn’t know my name. “Best part of my day right?” She is laughing a little. “I’m doing really good today. The whole day has been the best.” She is smiling as she bags my groceries.
Yesterday we drove to Ludington for a quick visit with Floyd and Dorothy. It was sort of an impulse, a little because of Mother’s Day and a little because we haven’t seen Floyd in a while and his health is ‘not so great’ as he says. Floyd and I were in the kitchen talking and Carson came in. I asked Carson what the best part of his day was. “Chocolate cake.” he said. I asked Floyd. Floyd said: “When you guys got here.”
And that was the best part of my day.
The answers I’ve heard in the last couple weeks have been very helpful for me. From some people’s response, I am grateful that I am not carrying whatever is burdening them. From others, I am inspired by how they seize even the simplest joys and hold them up as the best part of their day.
The question has been even better for me. I am asking myself: “What has been the best part of your day today?” Find it, think about it, treasure it, use it as a shield against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Some years ago, some friends from the Pine Ridge Indian reservation gave me a tool to unpack the day, to put it in perspective. “Rose and Thorn.” At the end of each day during our stay there, everyone would share the most gratifying part of their day, the “Rose”, and if there was a challenge, then share the “Thorn”.
Since then, around the table at home, we share our Rose and Thorn moments almost every time we eat together. You can list as many Roses as you wish, but only one Thorn. It has turned out to be a good conversation starter, which is sometimes a helpful thing. But more important, it forced all of us to focus on the things we have to be thankful for, and put behind us whatever caused us pain.
The question “What has been the best part of your day today?” is not some life-changing event for anyone. I know that for some they hardly consider the question and minutes later wouldn’t remember their answer. But I like to think that some people have actually stopped and savored the best part of their day, and maybe things have been brighter for them because of that. Of course, some of that reflects into my day.
Hope this finds you in the best part of your day,
David
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