Life's funny
Sometimes funny 'ha-ha', sometimes funny 'hmmm.'
Grape Nuts
July 3, 2000
Greetings from the land of milk and honey....and cereal,
There are 21 boxes of Grape Nuts in my pantry. It is a sign that my wife knows me after nearly 16 years of marriage, and that she loves me. Suzanne knows that I love a bargain, and I love Grape Nuts, so when she finds a deal, she stocks up.
There is no worry that they will go stale, since Grape Nuts have an indefinite shelf life. Some say they are actually fossils from the Paleolithic era. Actually, Post started making Grape Nuts in 1897. I think they made just the one batch, a big one, and that has lasted us since then.
You might remember sometime in the 70's they used a spokesman named Euell Gibbons, a so called "Naturalist". He would come on t.v. and say things like "Did you know that some parts of the pine cone are edible?" and somehow that would encourage us to buy Grape Nuts, which may be made up of pine cones for all we knew.
You have to be careful how you approach eating a bowl of Grape Nuts. If you pour on the milk and eat them too soon, you risk chipping a tooth. If you wait too long, you'll find you have twice as much cereal as you started with, but it has the consistency of drywall mud. I've found that if they soak about as long as it takes to eat a bagel, that is just right. Warning: If you leave Grape Nuts in the bowl, and they dry there, throw the bowl away. You'll never chisel them out.
Grape Nuts have no grapes in them, and no nuts. According to the complicated description on the box, they are made up of flour. I'm guessing they get their consistency from being compressed at the Earth's core or something.
On the box, the people from Post have tried including recipes to use Grape Nuts, but I think they are trying to play a practical joke on us. Give someone a muffin with Grape Nuts and they are going to think you accidentally swept some gravel in the mix.
Some people keep a box of Grape Nuts in the trunk of their car in the winter, in case they get stuck in the snow. If you sprinkle a box around your tires, you get better traction. Plus if you get hungry you can eat the box.
But I love Grape Nuts. I eat them every morning. I like a little honey on them, sometimes some fruit if the rest of the tribe hasn't gotten there first. My children don't eat Grape Nuts usually, (they call it "Daddy's Cereal") though they have tried it. When they eat Grape Nuts it sounds like someone is walking on gravel. Especially if they eat it with their mouths open.
I have eaten Grape Nuts for probably 25 years. When I was traveling on my bike, it was sometimes the only food I had. I have eaten it dry, with powdered milk, sour milk, whole milk, and soaked it in water. I've eaten it for breakfast lunch and dinner, and a midnight snack. I've sprinkled it on ice cream, on oatmeal, and used it to soak up an oil spill on the garage floor.
Why am I talking about Grape Nuts?
Sunday morning, I sit at the picnic table in my backyard. I am still sweating from my run. The sun is up, but it is still a little cool. We are on the leading edge of summer, so the yard is lush, green, restful. A rabbit wanders in from the woods for his breakfast.
I scoop up a spoonful of cereal and crunch away. I can close my eyes and it is the same breakfast I had while camping in the Rockies, or biking through the Redwoods, or the first year we were married, or the morning Katherine would come home from the hospital, or this very Sunday morning. I open my eyes and I wouldn't be anywhere else.
It is a thread through my life, an enjoyable, simple pleasure I take most every morning.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
Hope this finds you with your bowl full.
David
Copyright © 2000 David Smith
Greetings from the land of milk and honey....and cereal,
There are 21 boxes of Grape Nuts in my pantry. It is a sign that my wife knows me after nearly 16 years of marriage, and that she loves me. Suzanne knows that I love a bargain, and I love Grape Nuts, so when she finds a deal, she stocks up.
There is no worry that they will go stale, since Grape Nuts have an indefinite shelf life. Some say they are actually fossils from the Paleolithic era. Actually, Post started making Grape Nuts in 1897. I think they made just the one batch, a big one, and that has lasted us since then.
You might remember sometime in the 70's they used a spokesman named Euell Gibbons, a so called "Naturalist". He would come on t.v. and say things like "Did you know that some parts of the pine cone are edible?" and somehow that would encourage us to buy Grape Nuts, which may be made up of pine cones for all we knew.
You have to be careful how you approach eating a bowl of Grape Nuts. If you pour on the milk and eat them too soon, you risk chipping a tooth. If you wait too long, you'll find you have twice as much cereal as you started with, but it has the consistency of drywall mud. I've found that if they soak about as long as it takes to eat a bagel, that is just right. Warning: If you leave Grape Nuts in the bowl, and they dry there, throw the bowl away. You'll never chisel them out.
Grape Nuts have no grapes in them, and no nuts. According to the complicated description on the box, they are made up of flour. I'm guessing they get their consistency from being compressed at the Earth's core or something.
On the box, the people from Post have tried including recipes to use Grape Nuts, but I think they are trying to play a practical joke on us. Give someone a muffin with Grape Nuts and they are going to think you accidentally swept some gravel in the mix.
Some people keep a box of Grape Nuts in the trunk of their car in the winter, in case they get stuck in the snow. If you sprinkle a box around your tires, you get better traction. Plus if you get hungry you can eat the box.
But I love Grape Nuts. I eat them every morning. I like a little honey on them, sometimes some fruit if the rest of the tribe hasn't gotten there first. My children don't eat Grape Nuts usually, (they call it "Daddy's Cereal") though they have tried it. When they eat Grape Nuts it sounds like someone is walking on gravel. Especially if they eat it with their mouths open.
I have eaten Grape Nuts for probably 25 years. When I was traveling on my bike, it was sometimes the only food I had. I have eaten it dry, with powdered milk, sour milk, whole milk, and soaked it in water. I've eaten it for breakfast lunch and dinner, and a midnight snack. I've sprinkled it on ice cream, on oatmeal, and used it to soak up an oil spill on the garage floor.
Why am I talking about Grape Nuts?
Sunday morning, I sit at the picnic table in my backyard. I am still sweating from my run. The sun is up, but it is still a little cool. We are on the leading edge of summer, so the yard is lush, green, restful. A rabbit wanders in from the woods for his breakfast.
I scoop up a spoonful of cereal and crunch away. I can close my eyes and it is the same breakfast I had while camping in the Rockies, or biking through the Redwoods, or the first year we were married, or the morning Katherine would come home from the hospital, or this very Sunday morning. I open my eyes and I wouldn't be anywhere else.
It is a thread through my life, an enjoyable, simple pleasure I take most every morning.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
Hope this finds you with your bowl full.
David
Copyright © 2000 David Smith